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Claudia's Testimonial


Dear Dr. Teimoori!

     I would like to take the time to thank you for your immense support over the past 4 years as my therapist. When I came to you my life had not made sense since quite some time and I had already been to almost 20 therapists in just as little as 18 months.

    

     And then there came you, Dr. Teimoori!!! Probably the biggest gift you gave me is that you did not automatically disbelieve me. You allowed for the possibility that all the crazy things I told you might actually be true. The thing is that I would have much rather not believed them myself, but I had indeed lived through all of it. And I desperately needed to make sense of it all for my own sanity’s sake and for the safety and well-being of my children.  

 

     Let me recapture briefly the journey you and I took together during these past 4 years of therapy: Under your guidance I figured out that both my mother and my now ex-husband has all the traits and behaviors of high-functioning/acting out Borderline Personality Disorder. People with that type of behavior are the very best actors in the world!!! Forget Hollywood, so to speak!

 

     The clever manipulations and distortion campaigns from both my mother and my then-still husband were so elaborate and so well hidden even to me that it took me years to notice and interpret correctly, and another set of years to undo the damage to my reputation, my friendships and family relations, and most importantly to my life with my children.

 

     You, Dr. Teimoori, made all this possible because your office became the place where I was able to decipher week after week all the insanity I had been subjected to. My husband had been able to fool the courts, fool CPS, fool so many therapists, even my best friends. Every attempt I made to get out from under him he was able to make it a dead end for me. He even managed to get temporary sole custody of my children after I had fled with them to a Domestic Violence Shelter.  And of course it did not help at all that during the divorce process, my mother joined forces with my husband to make me look crazy and unfit as a mother.

 

     I figured out in the end that my husband was making use of a process known as “Traumatic Bonding”. It worked on me and my children for years. With your help, Dr. Teimoori, I fought my way out of this terrifying bond and I am now in the process to help my children out of that same scary pull to the perpetrator.

 

     I believe that the majority of the therapists that could not help me were just not familiar enough with the intricate details of high-functioning/acting out borderline behavior as well as the traumatic bonding process and how it can all relate to a Domestic Violence Case like mine.

 

      A mother like me might sometimes not become aware of the abuse for over a decade, but there will come windows of awareness and she will start to break out. During those windows she needs people that can and will validate her confusing and scary experiences.

 

     It took me almost 2 years from my first window of awareness to find you, Dr. Teimoori. And we almost never met because there was a time when no one would or could help me and my children and I was close to giving up completely. THAT could have been avoided altogether, had CPS, the courts, and all those therapists been able to believe me instead of my husband’s fabrications and complete distortions of reality. I am CONVINCED that if they all could have seen the situation for what it truly was, my children and me could have gotten the help we needed from the beginning, and not many, many years later.

 

     When this all happened to me 6 years ago I had NO REFERENCES WHAT-SO-EVER! It is my guess all those therapists did not either! But I have come across many cases like mine since then and some supporting literature as well. It is my hope that our stories be shared with all the right institutions and therapists to provide the right kind of help from the get-go for this devastating behavior pattern.

 

     Understanding and being able to respond to the intense trauma that high-functioning/acting out borderline personality disorder inflicts on its victims will save lives instantly. Being abused by a person with that type of behavior has its own laws and needs to be understood by all to create positive results, especially for the children.

 

     I compare my situation to that of a war veteran with just one distinction: A war veteran can return home after the war while for a person like me and my children the war is IN THE HOME. There is NO SAFE PLACE to go to until this world gets educated enough about situations like mine.

 

     Thanks a million, Dr. Teimoori, for making THE DIFFERENCE in my life, and more importantly, in my children’s life. You became my safe place to go to and it has made ALL the difference for me and my children.

 

Gratefully, forever and a day…

 

Claudia

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